We have a tradition around here of spending our holiday break covering films other than Christmas films. So what better way to celebrate July at Christmas than with the best action movie of 1995? That's right, tonight we're discussing Die Hard with a Vengeance!
You know the drill: In the next few hours, Simon is going to tell Lt. John McClane what to do. And Lt. McClane is going to do it. That's what the trailers say, at least. In truth, Hans Gruber's little brother is out for revenge against our old buddy John, who's just trying to kick a nasty hangover in the Big Apple. Along the way he teams up with Samuel L. Jackson, who wants absolutely nothing to do with him. It's great.
So crack open a cold one, pull up a chair and join your holiday broskis as we chat about Die Hard, pinball machines, New York landmarks, and all the other random crap this podcast is known for! And, of course, we wish all of you a Very Happy New Year!
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Merry Christmas, Creepazoids! This is our tenth year celebrating Christmas on this podcast. Can you believe that? This Christmas, Joe and Nikki take some time to discuss a few of the holiday movies they've watched this season. Primarily: Red One! Yes, friends. This is officially our Red One episode.
But fret not! We also spend a little time discussing and rating two other new Christmas movies: The "Jack Black as Satan" comedy Dear Santa, and the surprise Netflix hit Hot Frosty. This episode is three reviews in one! It's a Christmas miracle!
So crack open a cold one, pull up a chair by the fire, and enjoy some prime time holiday shenanigans. From all of us here at Christmas Creeps: We wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a most excellent New Year!
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Season's greetings, Creepazoids! This December we're indulging in a few of this podcasts favorite things (there's a Christmas song in there somewhere...). On this week's stocking stuffer, Joe and Johnny-5 take a look at King of the Hill's season nine Christmas episode "Ms. Wakefield".
Days before Hank Hill's Christmas party, an old woman (voiced by Happy Days' Marion Ross) shows up to reminisce about her old childhood home. Things then take a turn when Hank discovers Ms. Wakefield intends to die in his house on Christmas, forcing him to become the bad guy whose only crime was not wanting death to cast a pall on his family's Christmas.
Also in this episode, Joe briefly touches on a few recent Christmas movies he's watched this season, and we discuss the odd ambiance of mid-December holiday malaise. Fun!
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Last time, we discussed the Christmas slasher P2. This week we follow it up with a look at that film's unofficial 2023 Hindi remake, simply titled "I Love You". Same premise, same setting, there's a holiday involved (in this case Diwali)... I don't know what surprised us more: The fact that we're even covering this movie on our podcast in the first place, or the fact that we all actually kinda liked it?
For our purposes, we have a fun time comparing the two movies, and seeing what elements of the original translate to a film made halfway around the world. We fully realize three white Americans are the last people who should be discussing anything related to Diwali or Indian cinema in general, so we hope you'll bear with us as we tread some new territory for Christmas Creeps!
Also! Returning guest Dr. Nick delivers a late-episode derail into video game chat about the Ace Attorney games. So never let it be said that this podcast doesn't stay extremely on-brand about absolutely everything...
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Welcome back, spooky friends! This week, our pal Dr. Nick returns to help us discuss the 2007 slasher flick P2. It's a solid contender for Worst Movie Title Ever, but as we'll discover, the movie itself is pretty solid!
It's Christmas Eve, and office worker Angela finds herself stuck in her office building with lonely security guard Thomas. Things quickly take a turn for the worst as Thomas reveals himself to be a lovelorn psycho who takes her hostage and tries to have his way with her. She escapes, and a brutal game of cat and mouse ensues.
We'll dig into what makes this movie tick, how it has or hasn't aged gracefully, and the use of Christmas music as diegetic plot devices.
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Greetings boils and ghouls! Home For The Horrordays continues this week as we bring you a Stocking Stuffer on the Tales from the Crypt episode "And All Through the House"!
Based on the 1950s horror comics of the same name, Tales from the Crypt ran for seven seasons on HBO, and featured some of the biggest names in action and horror at the time. The episode we're discussing tonight comes from Back to the Future director Robert Zemeckis!
After killing her husband on Christmas Eve, murderous mom Elizabeth is besieged by a deranged serial killer dressed up as Santa Claus. She can't call the cops, because there's already a dead body in the house, so she'll just have to deal with it herself! It's a gruesome, gag-filled good time.
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Oh, you thought we weren't gonna cover Rare Exports? Think again, buddy. Home for the Horrordays continues as Joe and Bradford tackle the granddaddy of Finnish holiday horror. The scary folklore version of Santa Claus descends upon a farming community, killing caribou and kidnapping children, and it's up to young Pietari and his dad to find a way to save Christmas.
Also in this episode, we taste test Coca-Cola flavored Oreos AND Oreo-flavored Coca-Cola in an effort to keep up with the gross gimmick food trends. Nothing but the best audio content for our lovely listeners!
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We bid farewell to barbecue season as Home for the Horrordays continues! This week we're looking at Mercy Christmas, a horror/comedy about a family whose Christmas tradition is to kidnap unsuspecting victims and have them for Christmas dinner. As in eat them. Because they're cannibals. Ha ha ha!
Join us as we tell the tale of Michael Briskett (yes), as he wishes for the traditional family Christmas, and gets more than he bargained for.
Bradford gets angry at the family's poor cooking practices, Joe gets angry at the mountain of missed opportunities, and Johnny-5 was just angry right outta the box. Also we somehow wind up talking about Legos. Like ya do.
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After a long summer off, we're back to ring in the most wonderful time of the year: Home for the Horrordays!
On this episode we discuss the SyFy Channel original movie Icetastrophe, AKA Christmas Icetastrophe, AKA A Christmas Tale. No matter what you call it, this is a silly Day After Tomorrow knockoff in which a meteor crash lands in a small Washington town and flash freezes everything in sight. It's up to scientist Alex and townie Charlie Ratchet to save the town, while entrepreneur Crooge struggles to stay alive long enough to save his kids. Ratchet? Crooge? Yeah... It's one of those. The Christmas Carol connection is tenuous at best.
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It's the 4th of July on this podcast, which means we're roughly halfway to Christmas! So what better way to celebrate than with the most 4th of July movie of them all: Jaws!
You know Jaws. It's the granddaddy of all killer shark movies. It's Steven Spielberg's first breakout hit. It's the movie that made summer the season of blockbuster movies. And more than just being historically important, Jaws is just an all-around damn good movie.
Crack open a cold Narragansett and join us as we break down everything that makes this movie tick, why it's still revered as a classic, and whether or not news of an exploding whale influenced the film's ending!
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Summer is upon us once again, and that means it's time for a whole bunch of action movies! And in our case, that means action movies that may or may not actually have something to do with Christmas.
On this episode we're looking at the 1998 Euro-heist flick Ronin! Robert De Niro and Jean Reno speed across France in pursuit of a stolen briefcase, whose contents may or may not be a danger to world peace. Also, it's Christmas! You didn't think we'd just watch Ronin for no reason, did you?
Also in this episode: Bradford discusses his recent vacation to Paris, Jonathan brings up Rugrats in Paris for some reason, and we stumble backwards into the best pitch for an Austin Powers movie ever!
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Happy May, friends! This week's show comes to us via listener request. Life is full of twists and turns that you never expect. For instance, we never expected to be talking about the 2017 Netflix film El Camino Christmas this week, but that's exactly what we're gonna do!
El Camino Christmas finds a handful of ne'er-do-well drunks, shady cops and innocent bystanders all holed up in a liquor store on Christmas Eve. Life lessons are learned, secrets unearthed, all that good stuff. Perennial Christmas favorite Tim Allen is here to force everyone to sing Christmas carols at gunpoint, which means this is the one Christmas film that accurately captures the way this podcast feels 90% of the time...
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On this episode we're talking about An All Dogs Christmas Carol! It's the series finale of the All Dogs Go To Heaven animated series, itself a sequel series to Don Bluth's original All Dogs Go To Heaven. This thing went on a whole lot longer than we would have guessed!
Now guardian angel dogs living in San Francisco, Charlie and Itchy take it upon themselves to pull a "Christmas Carol" on their nemesis, Carface (voiced by Ernest Borgnine!), to show him the error of his ways. There's also something about a demon dog hatching a plan to steal Christmas presents, but it's not important.
What IS important is that Joe gets hoodwinked into playing the donation game himself this week, and he does... well, the important thing is he does it.
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It's that time again! The gang's all here as we take a listener request and dedicate this week's episode to Daddy's Home 2! Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are all hunky dory as co-step-dads after the original Daddy's Home, so what better way to test that familial bond than by bringing in their own dads (John Lithgow and Mel Gibson, respectively) to help celebrate the holidays and/or completely ruin them?
In this episode, we talk about all manner of weird garbage, from the weird logistics of Airbnb, to the complicated legacy of "Do They Know It's Christmas", imagining fake movies made up for this movie, the phenomenon of going to the movies on Christmas Day, and a whole lot more!
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And we're back! On this episode, Nikki returns to help Joe and Bradford break down Disney's most recent holiday offering: The Naughty Nine!
On Christmas morning, Andy discovers Santa did not bring him the video game console he asked for. Realizing he's been put on the naughty list, Andy enlists the help of seven kids with expert skills (and one adult who's definitely not Chris Pratt) to fly to the North Pole and steal back the Christmas gifts they rightly deserve. So it's Ocean's Eleven but with kids. Cool. Great.
Also in this episode, Joe pitches his own idea for a Christmas kids movie, Bradford explains the distinction between a horse-cop and a cop-horse, and Nikki regrets ever returning to this stupid podcast.
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It's been a few weeks, but we're finally wrapping up our video game extravaganza! If you haven't listened to part 1 yet, we highly recommend you give that a listen before diving into part 2. (Link's in the show notes!)
In this episode, we each discuss our top two games of the year, plus some honorable mentions, and a handful of comments from our very own listeners! See? If you listened to Christmas Creeps, we might put you on the show too. Anywho, now that we've finally gotten Video Game Chat out of our systems, we can get back to the business of talking about terrible Christmas movies. Stay tuned for your regularly scheduled Christmas Creeps!
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Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Happy New Year, Creepazoids! 2024 marks our 10th year of Christmas Creeps, and to celebrate we're kicking off the year with a show we've wanted to do for a long time: Video Game Chat!
This week we're taking a break from Christmas movies to talk about the best video games we've played in 2023. They don't have to be new games, just games we played in the last year. Them's the rules.
We realize this episode may not be everyone's cup of tea, but rest assured our regular programming will resume in February. For now though, please enjoy this ridiculous episode in which we all talk so much about video games that we had to break it up into two parts! (Part 2 coming next week!)
Questions/Comments?
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Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0