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Christmas Creeps

Your one stop shop for holiday madness all year round. Join hosts Joseph Wade, Johnny-5 and Mr. Bradford twice a month as they destroy holiday movies and TV shows in search of the true meaning of Christmas!
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Now displaying: Page 2
Aug 4, 2020

With our 100th episode behind us, it's time to get back to business. This week's show is all about Puppy Star Christmas. Not only is this part four in the Pup Star series, but it's also the eighteenth installment in the inexplicably extant Air Bud franchise. And if that's not enough, this is specifically a spin-off of the original Santa Buddies. If none of that makes any sense, don't worry, we'll lay it all out for you.

But because this film almost willfully ignores its own plot, we're forced to discuss everything from the superiority of foreign potato chip flavors, to whether or not the TV show CHiPS had any Christmas episodes, to the short history of people squatting on web domains for large corporations. It's a living.

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
Tweet us @ChristmasCreeps
Visit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Jul 21, 2020

Happy 100 episodes, everybody! We finally made it!

To celebrate, we're pulling out one of the Big Guns and dedicating an entire episode to the 2003 Will Ferrell comedy ELF! You know the story: Buddy is a human raised by Santa's elves, who journeys to New York City to meet his biological father and hopefully rescue him from Santa's naughty list.

Within that framework is a whole lot for us to explore, and in this episode we attempt to discuss it all. Everything from the forever problematic "Baby It's Cold Outside", to the lasting impact of director Jon Favreau, to the existence of the very bizarre Elf Game Boy game. And we even take some time out to answer a few listener questions! So buckle up, because this episode goes all over the map!

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
Tweet us @ChristmasCreeps
Visit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Jun 17, 2020

Episode 100 is just around the corner, and the only thing standing in our way is one final Christmas Shoes film. Join us this week as we endure The Christmas Hope, part three in a trilogy that, believe it or not, actually has some semblance of continuity.

Sure, the kid from the original film is all grown up now, and played by Sharknado's Ian Ziering instead of Neil Patrick Harris. Sure, the titular shoes don't actually appear in this film, replaced with a mystery box that even JJ Abrams would laugh at. And sure, we may be expecting too much out of a series that relies on manufacturing tragedies harder than Final Destination. But it's time to put this series to bed once and for all.

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
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Visit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
May 26, 2020

Five years ago we forced ourselves to watch and discuss The Christmas Shoes. Y'know, the TV movie based on the book based on the song based on an email chain about a little boy who buys his mom a pair of shoes right before she dies? It was brutal stuff, and when we learned there were sequels, we decided we weren't nearly desperate or drunk enough to even think about touching those.

Well today is that day! On this week's episode, we're discussing The Christmas Blessing, the 2005 sequel to Christmas Shoes. Neil Patrick Harris stars as the kid from the original all grown up. 20 years later he returns to his hometown to find himself, finds love along the way, but wouldn't ya know it? The shoes reappear and the specter of death returns! It's a whirlwind of pain, grief and anger. And the movie is pretty rough too.

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
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Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
May 5, 2020

It feels good to be back in the saddle talking about Christmas movies! This week we're talking about the 2018 adaptation of Dr. Seuss' "How The Grinch Stole Christmas," simply titled The Grinch. Produced by Illumination Studios (the house that Minions built), this film currently holds the title of Highest Grossing Christmas Film Ever. Home Alone held that title for 28 years until the right cartoon came out at the right time of year...

But that doesn't mean there isn't plenty to discuss! In this episode we compare this film to the 2000 live-action abomination, question the need for licensing so many Christmas songs for five seconds apiece, and ponder the need to cast Benedict Cumberbatch to voice The Grinch. Come join us!

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
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Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Apr 21, 2020

On this episode, we're discussing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. The whole gang has gathered on Jonathan & Karen's island to chat about island infrastructure, quirky animal neighbors, the fact that everyone hated Bunny Day, the creeping terror of tarantulas, and more!

(That's right, it's a whole hour dedicated to video game chat. Sorry not sorry.)

Questions/Comments?
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Intro: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Apr 7, 2020

As the quarantine continues, so too does our mission to keep ourselves sane! Once again, Joe & Bradford bring you some fun home cuisine tips. Last week we discussed how to make your own cold brew coffee. This week, Bradford details how to make your own bread at home!

If you have any suggestions or requests for how-to guides from us weirdos, feel free to shoot those over to us, and we'll see what we can do! We're here to entertain, and we've got nothing but time on our hands...

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
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Intro: Bread and Butter (Devo)
Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Mar 31, 2020

This week we're taking a break to discuss something a little closer to home. If you're anything like us, you're trying to limit your retail interactions to the barest of necessities. That sometimes means cutting out your morning coffee runs. I know, I hate it too. But these are strange times and it's for the greater good.

Anywho, on this week's episode, Bradford returns from podcast paternity leave to teach Joe the ins and outs of making your own cold brew coffee at home! So pour yourself a cup and come join us for Coffee Creeps!

Questions/Comments?
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Intro: The Coffee Song (Frank Sinatra)
Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Mar 17, 2020

With everyone on lockdown right now thanks to COVID-19, we decided to stretch outside our comfort zone a bit and discuss a movie more relevant to current events. Crossing a couple of the obvious ones off the list, we finally landed on George A. Romero's 1973 cult classic THE CRAZIES!

Can our plucky band of survivors escape a town overrun by a deadly virus and also faceless military goons? Can top scientists create a vaccine before the president decides to nuke the entire town? Could there possibly have been a more stressful film for us to watch right now???

Questions/Comments?
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Intro: Anthrax's Among The Living, by yours truly!
Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Feb 25, 2020

Winter has finally arrived in our little pocket of the world, friends, and so on this episode we dive into the Rankin/Bass tale of Jack Frost! There are many Jack Frosts in the world, and this is the only one that features steampunk horses, climate-induced poverty, and a knight of King Arthur's Round Table who has a summer cottage somewhere on the Eurasian Steppe.

This is a very...strange cartoon. So strange, in fact, that Jack Frost clearly wasn't cool enough to carry this thing on his own, so they introduced a groundhog voiced by Buddy Hackett. That's right! Star of Disney's The Love Bug Buddy Hackett!! Wow!

Questions/Comments?
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Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Feb 11, 2020

It's February, and by now you've probably accumulated a fair number of Christmas cards that you've either stashed or trashed. And that's what we want to talk about today, with "The Pick", the first of Seinfeld's two holiday episodes. "The Pick" finds Elaine agonizing over a Christmas card that features some unfortunate nudity, among other subplots that have little-to-nothing at all to do with Christmas. 

...Listen, we really just wanted to talk about Seinfeld this week, alright? Also this episode eventually veers into King of the Hill chat, and the subject of Hank Hill's plumbing. You've been warned. Anywho, we'll be back with a regular episode before you know it!

Questions/Comments?
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Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Outro: "Did You See That Seinfeld Last Night?" - Viva Variety

 

Jan 29, 2020

Welcome to season six of Christmas Creeps! 

Niall Flanagan and Dwayne Moloney, cohosts of the Secret of the Sailor Madness podcast, join us once again to discuss the handmade charms of the Netflix original film Klaus! The film tells the story of Jesper, a young postal worker sent to the farthest reaches of Scandinavia. With the help of a reclusive toymaker named Klaus, Jesper accidentally gives birth to the Yuletide legend of Santa Claus. The film was even nominated for an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature, so consider this our 2020 Oscar Special!

So sit back, grab yourself one of those leftover Christmas beers, and join us as we break down Klaus!

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
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Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Dec 25, 2019

Merry Christmas! It's time once again for our annual "July at Christmas" episode, where we take a break from Christmas to discuss something equally near and dear to our hearts: Obnoxious jingoism! Also video games! Inspired by our discussion of Four Christmases, this year we turn our attention to one of our favorite sports documentaries.

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters isn't just a film about competitive Donkey Kong. It examines what drives and obsesses men to lie, cheat and con their way to victory. Billy Mitchell can cling to a high score for twenty years through sheer cult of personality, but what happens when Steve Wiebe, a legitimate contender, emerges to challenge his record? How far will one clique go to keep potential newcomers away? And how can such an attitude rot a community from the inside out? Join us as we discuss these questions and more!

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
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Intro: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing (Bad Religion)
Outro
: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Dec 17, 2019

Happy December to one and all! This week, we present to you a Stocking Stuffer we recorded back in August. J5 went digging around the Lost Media Wiki and turned up Cranberry Christmas! Sponsored and produced by the Ocean Spray cranberry juice company, this animated special features songs and narration from the one and only Barry Manilow! To our knowledge it has aired only once, and as this podcast bears out, there is probably a very good reason why. Enjoy!

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
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Visit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Nov 29, 2019

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and that can only mean one thing... It's time for our third annual Shane Black Friday!

Libby Cudmore joins us to help navigate all the bizarre twists and turns of Renny Harlin's 1996 action yarn The Long Kiss Goodnight. National treasure Geena Davis plays a recovering amnesiac who suddenly, violently discovers her former life as a trained assassin, and Samuel L. Jackson plays the low-rent detective helping her get to the bottom of things. There are explosions and gunfights and it's all very silly.

Also it's a Christmas movie. Shane Black wrote this, so of course it's a Christmas movie!

Questions/Comments?
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Visit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Nov 19, 2019

This one has been a long time coming. Our celebration of all things Bob Clark—known around these parts as CLARKSGIVING—comes to an end with perhaps the greatest Christmas movie of them all: A CHRISTMAS STORY!

Our friends Booker and Jessie join us for a discussion of one of the true kings of holiday cinema. The adventures of Ralphie Parker and his quest for that elusive Red Ryder BB gun have become an American institution in the form of TV marathons, museums and, yes, a cash-in sequel or three. But what makes this film endure where so many other wannabe Christmas classics simply don't? When exactly does the film take place? Who would want to live down the street from that house? We dig into all of that and more!

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
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Visit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Nov 5, 2019

Happy November, friends! It's time to pack up Home for the Horrordays for another year. But fret not, because we have one last bit of horror goodness up our sleeves.

Ten years before A Christmas Story, Bob Clark directed a little horror movie called Black Christmas, which would inspire slasher cinema for decades to come. HalloweenMy Bloody ValentineScream and countless others owe some sort of debt to Black Christmas. And with a brand new remake on the horizon, we thought it would be fun to dedicate an entire month to the Christmas offerings of Bob Clark. Welcome to CLARKSGIVING!

This week, our pal and horror expert Dr. Nick drops by to discuss all things Black Christmas, and why this film deserves its reputation as a bona fide horror classic!

Questions/Comments?
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Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Oct 22, 2019

It's everyone's favorite time of year! No, it's not Christmas just yet. It's time to go Home for the HorrorDays! 

This week, we're revisiting the saga of the Caldwell family with Silent Night Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! Somehow, Ricky "Santa Claus Killer" Caldwell survived the last film, and what's he got to show for it? Oh nothing much, just his EXPOSED BRAIN IN A JAR WHERE HIS SKULL USED TO BE. No biggie. This film also features a blind psychic who can sense Ricky's thoughts, and somehow never manages to do anything interesting with that. For real, SNDN3 is kinda the pits.

Questions/Comments?
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Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Sep 30, 2019

It's finally here! We conclude Vaughn-a-thon this week with Vince Vaughn's other holiday offering: The $100 million comedy spectacle Fred Claus! What happens when St. Nick's deadbeat brother Fred gets arrested for grifting money away from Salvation Army Santas? Nick bails him out on the condition that he come work for him at the North Pole. And then there are some shenanigans involving Kevin Spacey. Yes, it's all very unpleasant.

Anywho, also in this week's episode, Joe breaks out some Fred Claus marketing material, Brad gives the Santa Talk to his dog Charles, and we ponder the difference between Santa Claus and his clan and your average pack of vampires.

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
Tweet us @ChristmasCreeps
For show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Sep 10, 2019

Welcome to Vaughn-a-thon! This month we're highlighting the two holiday features produced by and starring Vince Vaughn. We kick things off with Four Christmases, which we assumed would be the lesser of two evils. We assumed wrong. From the sheer volume of A-list stars with nothing to do, to the film's weirdly antagonistic tone, to the way it forces regressive notions about family upon a couple with more modern sensibilities, Four Christmases is a dire experience all the way around!

Also in this episode we discuss Freeform's Halloween TV schedule, ponder how seasonal creep operates in the Southern hemisphere, and Joe and Bradford gets a chance to gush about one of their favorite films! Check it out!

(NB: Movie chat begins at 23:50)

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
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For show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Aug 27, 2019

Summer is winding down, and since we've been in the superhero mood lately, we thought it would be fun to look at a film from earlier this summer. Shazam! not only takes place around the holidays, but makes particularly good use of it in service of its themes of family and togetherness. It's also a pretty damn fun movie, with a positive streak a mile wide.

Why would a studio produce a movie set at Christmas, only to turn around and release it in April? Why would a wizard tell anyone they weren't worthy of magic directly to their face? Why does one of the monsters in this movie strongly resemble Venom? We get into all of that and more!

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
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For show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Outro: Freakazoid! End Credits Theme (Richard Stone)
Aug 6, 2019

Happy August, everybody! Have you spotted any signs of Christmas Creep out and about? It'll be here before you know it! Anywho, on this week's show, Joe & Johnny-5 take a look at "Christmas with the Joker", the first of two holiday episodes produced for Batman: The Animated Series! Batman and Robin's quiet Christmas Eve is interrupted by The Joker, who's kidnapped Commissioner Gordon and set up all sorts of holiday havoc.

Where did "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells" come from? What did Batman think of It's A Wonderful Life? What is it about Batman that always seems to work so well with Christmas? Just a few of the questions raised in this episode. Come join us!

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
Tweet us @ChristmasCreeps
Visit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Jul 16, 2019

Every once in a while you hit a brick wall, and your only options are to give up or to power straight through it. That's the situation we found ourselves in this week, as we finally subjected ourselves to the astoundingly brain-dead children's comedy SANTA WITH MUSCLES.

Hulk Hogan basically plays himself as a do-gooder fitness guru who gets conked on the head just hard enough to believe he's Santa Claus while defending a beleaguered orphanage from a wacky mad scientist played by Ed Begley, Jr. That is the saddest sentence I have ever written.

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
Tweet us @ChristmasCreeps
For show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Jul 16, 2019

Every once in a while you hit a brick wall, and your only options are to give up or to power straight through it. That's the situation we found ourselves in this week, as we finally subjected ourselves to the astoundingly brain-dead children's comedy SANTA WITH MUSCLES.

Hulk Hogan basically plays himself as a do-gooder fitness guru who gets conked on the head just hard enough to believe he's Santa Claus while defending a beleaguered orphanage from a wacky mad scientist played by Ed Begley, Jr. That is the saddest sentence I have ever written.

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
Tweet us @ChristmasCreeps
For show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
Jun 25, 2019

It's six months til Christmas, the 4th of July is right around the corner, so what better time to discuss a Jaws movie?! Jaws: The Revenge, to be specific, the movie that IMDb's users have declared the 27th worst movie ever made. It's also the one Jaws movie that actually takes place around the holidays, so like it or not, here we come!

Also in this episode, the guys take a stab at writing their own Jaws sequel, Joe and Bradford actually learn something about foreign culture from this movie, and a Winnie The Pooh meme short circuits J-5's brain...

Questions/Comments?
Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com
Tweet us @ChristmasCreeps
For show notes, visit us at ChristmasCreeps.com!

Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
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