Merry Christmas, Creepazoids!
This Christmas Day we bring you an episode all about A Christmas Story Christmas! Yet another attempt at an ‘official’ sequel to Bob Clark’s holiday classic, this one finds Peter Billingsley returning as a middle-aged Ralphie, now tasked with giving his family the fabled Perfect Christmas.
Is this a brazen attempt to cash in on our nostalgia? Or is it a genuine, warm-hearted plea to…er…cash in on our nostalgia? You may be surprised to hear where we land on this one! We'll dig into the original Jean Shepard stories, the nostalgia of assorted casseroles, and a whole lot more!
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Home for the Horrordays enters extra innings this week as we finally tackle a little film called SANTA JAWS!
You see, it's Jaws, but the shark wears a fun little Santa hat. Not surprisingly, this comes from the Syfy Channel stable of original movies, but somewhat surprisingly, this actually looks and feels like a real movie. Granted, that's not much to hang our hats on, but we'll take what we can get!
Come join us as we discuss gross Mountain Dew flavors, how Santa Jaws stacks up to Regular Jaws, the shenanigans going on over at Twitter, and more!
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Home for the Horrordays continues with one of the more bizarre films we've ever covered: Blood Beat!
A family hunting trip in the Wisconsin wilderness is interrupted by the vengeful spirit of a dead samurai, and it's up to the two psychic women of the house to stop him. Or at least, that's what we think is going on here... Blood Beat is a bunch of loosely interpreted ends in search of a movie and it's our job to twist those ends into some kind of narrative sense.
We also spend some time discussing apple picking, mellowcrème candies for old people, waterbeds, the films of Jim Wynorski and James Cameron, and so much more!
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Grab your pumpkins and pour your ciders, kids, because the most wonderful time of the year is finally upon us: HOME FOR THE HORRORDAYS!
Home For The Horrordays is our annual tradition of watching Christmas-themed horror flicks. There are more of them than you'd imagine, and this year we've picked some real oddballs! On this episode, we dig into the 1984 cult classic Night of the Comet!
It's 11 days until Christmas and a passing comet has vaporized most of Los Angeles. Survivors Regina and Sam find themselves besieged by mutant stockboys, nefarious scientists, and zombified cops. Will they escape with their lives? Can they find a way to save Christmas? There's only one way to find out...
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For years, internet sleuths have tried to identify a cartoon based on nothing but an old family Christmas photo. In an amazing turn of events, not only was the cartoon identified, but it turned out to be an obscure Christmas special titled The Christmas Gift of Light. So you know we had to watch that thing ASAP!
And watch it we did. On this Stocking Stuffer, Joe and Johnny-5 break down this odd little relic, spending entirely too long looking into the IMDb profiles of most of the voice cast, pondering the cartoon's purpose, and asking the big questions like "Why did we even want to watch this in the first place?"
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There's a reason we don't often go to the made-for-TV well, and it's because we fear falling into that abyss never to be seen again. But sometimes a project intrigues you so much that you can't help but gaze into it anyway.
This week we discuss the 1990 made-for-TV Disney film A Mom For Christmas! Directed by George Miller—"Zeus & Roxanne" George Miller, not "Happy Feet" George Miller—this film frequently verges on becoming a weird bit of body horror involving mannequins, alive and otherwise.
We weren't sure what to expect here, but we wound up talking about soup for breakfast, mannequins on film, speculation on the forthcoming Christmas Story sequel, and a whole lot more!
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This edition of Stocking Stuffers is unique, in that the episode of TV we're covering is only 7 minutes long. "All Through The House" is the lone Christmas episode of Netflix's animated anthology series Love Death & Robots. It's also a perfect fit for our show's often macabre and off-kilter grasp of the holidays.
But since the episode is so short, Joe and Bradford take the opportunity to discuss a wide array of subjects. Bradford's experiments with DIY salsa, Brach's latest attempt to ruin candy corn forever, and the recent news of HBO Max's impending demise. We cover a lot of ground on this episode, and we hope you're okay with that!
(The actual show discussion begins at 17:00)
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Happy Christmas in July! On this episode, we're still knee deep in summer action season as we take a look at the Wesley Snipes/Woody Harrelson buddy cop flick Money Train!
They're two cops who also happen to be brothers, or is it two brothers who also happen to be cops? Either way, it's Christmastime in the Big Apple and Charlie owes a large gambling debt to a local mobster. What's a transit cop in need of cash to do? Why rob the money train, of course!
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We're back with more holiday action hijinks! This week, in honor of the recently departed Ray Liotta, we take a look at his 1997 airplane thriller Turbulence!
It's Christmas Eve and the feds need to escort a number of criminals, including the Lonely Hearts Strangler, from New York to Los Angeles. When all hell breaks loose and every officer and pilot onboard have been killed, it's up to flight attendant Lauren Holly to fend off the killer and safely land the plane.
Turbulence is more of a Christmas movie that we honestly expected. Join us as we examine all of its holiday trappings, as well as how it relates to It's A Wonderful Life, the other 1997 "criminals take over a plane" movie Con Air, basic cable programming of yesteryear, and more!
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This Memorial Day, we're kicking off our Summer Holiday Movie Season! All summer long we'll be highlighting ridiculous summer action movies with a holiday bent!
On this episode we're taking the modern surveillance state to task with Tony Scott's 1998 mistaken identity thriller Enemy of the State! Will Smith is on the run from the NSA, who believe he's in possession of a videotape with incriminating evidence on it. In a shocking twist, he actually does have the tape, but he's still completely innocent. And all this because the guy just wanted to buy some Christmas gifts for his wife...
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Our pals Niall Flanagan and Dwayne Moloney, co-hosts of the Secret of the Sailor Madness podcast, join us this week to try and make sense of Rankin/Bass' 1967 Christmas special The Cricket on the Hearth!
Based on Charles Dickens' other holiday novella, Cricket plays fast and loose with its source material to make it suitable for television. Certain characters get cut out, new ones invented out of whole cloth, and no less than NINE musical numbers to fill up an hour of your valuable holiday viewing time.
It's nonsensical, it's absurd, but it's pure-strain Rankin/Bass. There's certainly a charm to the madness on display here, and honestly? We wouldn't have it any other way.
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When we discussed A Karate Christmas Miracle last year, we swore that we wouldn't touch its follow-up unless we had no other choice. Ladies and gentlemen, that day came far sooner than we expected.
A Wrestling Christmas Miracle has the distinction of being the only Christmas movie to feature the late, great Gilbert Gottfried. Going into this, that was all we knew. Only now can we say that we have been well and truly snookered. Gottfried is only in this movie because it recycles footage from a completely different movie, one that actually does feature Gilbert Gottfried. It's all very ridiculous, and we'll do our best to explain it all on this week's episode!
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Please enjoy this week's Stocking Stuffer to tide you over until our next full episode. This week we're taking a look at The Norm Show, Norm Macdonald's foray into the world of late-90s sitcoms.
In this episode, "Norm vs Christmas", Norm tries to show his co-workers how magical Christmas can be, with a non-denominational holiday party, a Secret Santa gift exchange, and surprise decorations at home. This inevitably ends with everyone visiting the hospital, where even more shenanigans ensue.
Also on this podcast, we briefly discuss the film we originally meant to cover, Joe eats a disgusting flavor of marshmallow peeps, and Jonathan takes any opportunity to talk about Elden Ring.
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This week we return to world of Jim Henson with the 1992 holiday classic The Muppet Christmas Carol! You know how this story goes: Ebenezer Scrooge is a miserly old turd who only loves his money. Three spirits show him the error of his ways, yadda yadda yadda Christmas is saved!
But the Muppets put their own unique spin on this tale, with some help from Jaws: The Revenge star Michael Caine! Is it enough to overcome what an often dark and tragic story A Christmas Carol can be? Or do the Muppets take things too far in the sillier direction? Join us as we answer these questions and more!
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We kick off the new year with the little-seen 1987 animated Christmas special Christmas Every Day. Based on an 1892 short story by William Dean Howells, this cartoon seeks to answer the question: What would happen if we celebrated Christmas every single day?
Not only does the situation send one family into crisis, but it also puts a huge strain on the global supply chain, and sends this very podcast into an existential spiral from which we only barely manage to recover!
Questions/Comments?
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